How to Say No to Your Supervisor

The Art of Effective Refusal

Mar 19, 2009
Therese Haberman

Say No to your Boss - SCSSAPICS

There are times when you need to tell your manager you cannot take on more work or, when you are asked to do something ethically questionable. How do you handle this?

How do you refuse to do something you are uncomfortable with, without repercussions involving disciplinary action? Read on and learn the art of saying “No” in the workplace.

You have heard it before, but it bears repeating; location, location, location. Find a good place to talk to your boss privately, without ringing telephones or unwanted intrusions. Pick a less stressful time of the day, like after hours, when she is not preoccupied with getting the work done.
Be mindful and sensitive to the fact that he will likely have a knee jerk reaction to your request, so be tactful and diplomatic in your explanation of what you are declining to do and your reasoning. Be logical, calm and concise.
Do not phrase your refusal in the form of a refusal. Instead of saying that you will not do the task, start by stating that you are having difficulty with completing the assignment. This will give her a chance to rethink the situation in a way that does not undermine her effectiveness or authority.
Never make a public confrontation of the issue. Do not make him look bad or question his motives in front of others. This will be a losing situation for both of you.
Be tactful and prepared with your explanation as to why you cannot perform the task. Discuss your predicament in a normal speaking voice using logical reasoning.
Let him vent as needed. You may get some back story about why you were asked to do the task and whether or not any internal politics were at issue.
Offer an alternative solution to how he can get it done (i.e. assigning others or a team to complete it).
If the task presents a moral dilemma, many employers have a code of ethics that would allow you to refuse to do something, such as lying to a customer, to protect you from reprimand. This is a last resort, as it may damage your relationship with your manager.
Reason with your manager. Explain in detail why you feel you cannot comply and ask for reprieve. If she continues to require your participation, you can do it under protest or decide to refuse. At this point, if disciplinary action is imminent, you may decide to take the issue to someone higher up the chain of command.
Document the situation, circumstances and any action taken against you for future reference.

In some situations, a job is not worth compromising your integrity or self-respect. Stand up for what you believe is right. If the dilemma is related to excessive work demands, consider a reassignment to a manager who is more skilled in accomplishing the goals without burning out the employees.